The problem w/ post-adoption support:
It was obvious most birth mother's were not processing the grief correctly, So many, too many, fall into drugs or some other destructive practice to numb the pain. Usually this is then used as more of a way to stereotype the way birth mother's must be.
As a result of the stay at a adoption dorm, they saw much of the background events going on during an adoption too. So we have a few insights for adoption reform....a main one being, birth mother's should have a separate case worker and counselor, because both roles are too conflicting to receive unbiased support. Preferably birth mom's should be counseled by other birth mom's. Every girl just wanted to talk to someone who had been through it before. It relieves so much anxiety for the birth mom. And any unanswered questions tend to just result in a birth mother not following through for fear of the unknown, at the last minute. (And provided legal representation, as the other side is)
Who usually becomes a birth mother, do they have anything in common?
Most birth mother's were a result of an unplanned or crisis pregnancy. This doesn't mean we loved our babies any less. (In fact, some would say it as the opposite) but it means that we are most likely not prepared to provide adequate care. These babies then become the most at risk for being aborted in today's society. Every 1 out of 4 children won't make it. This is why birth mom's missions is crucial to the pro-life movement!
At Birth Mom Missions, we think life is always the best CHOICE for everyone! We've seen friends have abortions and friends raise children, but we never saw a birth mother's life that close up...until we become one. Now we have tackled every situation the pro-abortion industry can come up with as a reason to have an abortion. One of the two founding birth mother's was raped, suppressed it, and then was shocked to find herself pregnant.
They soon found out that birth mother's are joined together for life by their experiences. The love and respect among such a small group of women, is something society usually misses out on. Watching a birth mother hand over her child to her adoptive parents for the very lest time...is a moment I wish everyone could see. It is the most beautiful bittersweet moment, and shows the real power of love...two sets of parents coming together all because of their love for this one child! Christians can take even more from it, because of how it portrays in some small way how we are adopted as God's children. The experience is worth more than words can describe.
More details on Birth Mom Missions:
Birth Mothers works together with other foundations, schools, individuals, churches, faith-based agencies and social services providers to build a web of resources for pregnant women.
Each of the Birth Mother's on our growing staff, have unique experiences. We have dealt with crisis pregnancies, serious health concerns third trimester ( pre-e ), adoption legal mishaps, and much more. We have seen and experienced a lot and want to just share our observations. We know what women are capable of when a life depends solely on them to survive. Birth mother's are strong women, determined to give life and finish the good work that was begun inside them. It may have been unplanned, but we want them here more than anything! (Contrary to beliefs, since "gave away")
A mother becomes a mother, when she realizes there is another little person who solely depends on her to survive....and she therefore is intent on not letting them down. A mother becomes a birth mother, when she looks her precious child in the eyes and realizes it's her duty to take care of them and provide the best, no matter what society may think of her. Even her child might not understand right away, but one day when they become a parent they will. Mom's don't stop being mom's when a child leaves for college, or a child passes on before them...so why would a birth mom stop being a mom after adoption day.